Following on from the earlier post about Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” it’s become more and more apparent that the whole thing was a ploy, nay a scheme hatched by Jason Kottke and Matt Haughey (and others) to out wannabe’s as self-confessed lovers of all things Kelly… Yep, duped hook, line and sinker, and I wasn’t the only one.
But Melissa at Anything But Ordinary has an answer, a “Since U Can’t Stop Listening, Here’s 12 Steps For U” support group…
- We admit we are powerless over our addiction.
- Came to believe there is more than one song on our music player.
- Made a decision to turn off Repeat and turn on Shuffle.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our music collection.
- Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our song collection.
- Were entirely ready to have our spouses, friends or relatives remove all traces of Kelly Clarkson from our music device if the addiction continues to spiral out of control.
- Humbly asked Simon Cowell to remove our shortcomings, or at least mock us publicly.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed while singing:
“I can breathe for the first time, I’m so movin’ on!”
…at the top of our lungs, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when doing so might expose them to the song, and thus spread the addiction.
- Continued to take personal music inventory and when we were stuck on Repeat again, promptly sung aloud, then coughed in embarassment.
- Sought through caffeine and copious amounts of junk food to improve our understanding of Kelly, and forget her previous hideous errors in judgement.
- Having had a musical awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
All very good ideas, except maybe number 6, because I like “Miss Independent” as well, I’m not getting rid of that, no siree… Which leads me to my main idea, I’m outing every guilty pleasure I have in my music playlist.
- Amerie – I’m Coming Out
- Atomic Kitten – Whole Again
- Avril Lavigne – Let Go & Under My Skin
- Aztec Camera – Somewhere In My Heart
- Bloodhound Gang – Hooray For Boobies
- Britney Spears – Baby One More Time…, Oops! I Did It Again & Toxic
- The Carpenters – (They Long To Be) Close To You
- Christina Aguilera – Come On Over (All I Want Is You)
- Cledus T. Judd – I Love Nascar
- Collapsed Lung – Eat My Goal
- Eamon – (Fuck It) I Don’t Want You Back
- Fastball – The Way
- Flock Of Seagulls – I Ran (So Far Away)
- Geri Halliwell – Schizophonic
- Goldie Looking Chain – Guns Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do
- Jessica Simpson – With You & I Think I’m In Love With You
- Josie And The Pussycats – Original Soundtrack
- Justin Timberlake – Justified
- Kurt Nilsen – She’s So High
- Limp Bizkit – 3 Dollar Bill Y’all, Significant Other, Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water & Results May Vary
- Lindsay Lohan – Disconnected
- Linkin Park – Hybrid Theory & Meteora
- Mandy Moore – I Wanna Be With You
- Mariah Carey – Music Box & Daydream
- Paula Abdul – Straight Up
- Puddle Of Mudd – Come Clean
- R. Kelly – R.
- Rachel Stevens – Funky Dory
There, the blogosphere ain’t got nothing on me now cause, in the words of Miss Clarkson, “I’m so movin’ on…”
Comments
One response to “Outed and Assorted Guilty Pleasures…”
GAAAH! I feel so much better now that I found so many people with the same affinity for “since u been gone,” esp. when said listeners usually despise anything that substitutes ‘u’ in for “you” in an effort to be cute.
It’s funny because I went on the net, typed in “guilty pleasure since you been gone,” because I just knew other people were going through this same conflict…Oh thank goodness.
It’s a good song. If it takes a tip from Maps, whatever. Yeah Yeah Yeahs are awesome, and that makes me feel a little better about my liking the song. It’s a good song, and if we have to have a parade of pop automatons, there should be more like it.
Still, ever since I heard the song, I couldn’t help but think, over and over and over again, “damn this is a good song, i can just hear it’s POTENTIAL. It’s too clean…needs a real band, a raw sound” etc…unfortunately, i don’t think mr. leo is the one for the job. But then, he reminds me of ben folds and ben folds reminds me too much of kids who are into Eagle Eye Cherry and wear there baseball caps backwards to cover their early – hair recession. (the ones that sometimes read vonnegut and think they’re deep, who used to like matchbox twenty but now deny it… you get the picture? white boys into mediocre music and obsessed with tarantino but oh well that’s a different story)
How do I come back full circle? I’m too tired. Ah well. Good song with a good hook, good loops and fun-to-sing rhymes. I definitely sing that song when I’m alone. (And I’m currently into Lucinda Williams, Neko Case, Cat Power…so yeah I have felt totally guilty.) That’s about it. YEAH!