Why didn’t someone think of this before? We have have an unclaimed day at the end of February every four years, this year no less… So why not petition to make it a fun day… A Pizza Party U.S.A. day! Sure it’s not a real day, but neither is February the 29th if you think about it.
And it’s such a great idea… SUCH a great idea. In fact I’ll go as far as saying “Best. Idea. Ever.”
Look at the facts…
Everybody gets the day off. No, I mean everybody. I don’t want to see any poor saps working at Denny’s or Wal-Mart during Pizza Party U.S.A. – we’ll pass legislation making it illegal to wear a nametag on Leap Day. The only people allowed to work will be the mail carriers charged with delivering the pizzas to neighborhoods around the nation (and each will receive a copy of the Shins’ “Chutes Too Narrow” for their trouble).
Then, at noon on Feb. 29, citizens from around the nation will travel to their local community centers, present photo I.D. (to prove they chipped in), and receive in return:
– Three slices of pizza
– A 16-ounce soda. And no diet soda, either – this is a pizza party, people!
– $2 in quarters for the video games
Community centers that don’t already have video games will be required to install Berzerk, Mappy, and the cool version of Discs of Tron where you actually get to climb into the cabinet.
What’s NOT to love about it? A day off and 3 slices of pizza… And a national database will list your likes and dislikes in terms of toppings so you’ll always get the slice you want!
So go forth, sign the petition, I already have…
I’ll have Ham & Pineapple on my pizza please, no Mushrooms…