Blogger Interview

By way of Dawnkeyotie comes an interview… I’m torn between being serious or joking around, perhaps a bit of both will do…

1. What’s the most important thing in the world? And why?

Right now it’s the belongings I have in two suitcases and a cupboard upstairs as it’s all I have to my name… Without those I’d be smelly, dirty and naked somewhere, which doesn’t sound altogether bad but not really good if you’re living with people.

2. Imagine you are supreme ruler of the world. Nice, huh? Anyway, name two new laws, initiatives, or holidays that you would institute.

Hmmmm, yeah, first of all, it would be a freakin’ utopia people!

This utopia would be a lot like the world we live in today, except with one critical difference. We don’t have a fucked up world because we honestly believe in all the things we say, we have a fucked up world just because we’re assholes. Everything is open 24 hours a day, everything has a drive through window, and Mad Max is head of the highway patrol.

Don’t like your boss? In my world, we have a radical communist revolution every time its my turn to buy the beers. Hey, everyone has their own set of ethics, just that mine is better than yours..

Bored? WWII era Japanese ToJo Zeroes scream out of the sun and strafe people who stand still outdoors for too long. How long? Nobody knows. There’s no welfare, but citizens are guaranteed the right to as much junk food as they want.

Women aren’t allowed to talk about their feelings, but then men can’t brag about getting laid either. Everyone is required by law to be naked when alone, but I haven’t figured out how to enforce it, since surveillance is illegal.

Television content is as unregulated as internet content, but there’s only one channel. The crazy bastard who owns it keeps playing Xena: Warrior Princess 24/7.

Freedom of the press is for the people who own the printing presses.

Also, May 31st would be a global holiday as it’s my birthday… Wild celebrations would be the order of the day before a number of names are picked at random to go on “The Carousel™” to keep the population of the world down… In fact, anyone over 30 or 35 get’s their ass slammed into “The Carousel™”.

3. You are going to be convicted of a crime, real or imaginary. What is it and why?

Everything I done in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City… Which was a lot…

4. What is your favorite quote (or at least the favorite one you can find in the next 5 minutes)?

“Television is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs”
Hunter S. Thompson

5. If you have to be a mammal other than human, what would you be and why?

A cat probably, they get to sit around all day doing nothing while the humans are really their pets

6. You, too, must do haiku.

Haiku on Scam City?
That will be the day, buddy
No culture is here

Finally…The Rules!!

1 – Leave a comment below, saying you want to be interviewed. Prolly best if you leave an email address. The questions are different every time. I will make up your questions if you volunteer.

2 – I will respond; I’ll ask you five questions.

3 – You’ll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.

4 – You’ll include this explanation so that this may spread, like a disease, over blogs everywhere.

5 – You’ll ask other people five questions, of your choosing, when they want to be interviewed.