Which of course means nothing to me, expect it’s pretty much impossible to contact any Americans as their choking down a huge turkey and watching “the game”.
Who’s playing? No one really knows…
I’ll probably just watch the usual crap on TV or read about the upcoming demise of Leeds United.
Fun, fun, fun!
So it goes a little something like this.
The comment that was left last Thursday originated from IP#: 213.78.130.80, which after a little bit of help I discovered was the outbound DSL line for the place I work… So I was not best pleased that such a comment was posted from my place of work.
I lodged a complaint on Friday and things went into motion pretty quickly, it was narrowed down to one of two PC’s that are on the top floor of the building, and I was asked if I had pissed anyone upstairs off…
I don’t know anyone upstairs.
So time passes and towards the end of the day I didn’t hear anything else, so I asked what was going on and basically someone came forward and said he posted the comment, but flat out denied posting the profanity (obviously trying to infer that I had edited the comment or whatever, but I have an email that says otherwise as the blog notify’s me when someone posts a comment). So this unknown person had basically gotten away with a warning, which pissed me off no end.
So I sat and stewed over the weekend, and first thing on Monday morning I filed yet another complaint and was told it would more or less be a waste of time, as apparently “everyone” knows about my blog and there are stories that I’ve been saying how much I hate where I work, but since the posts have been removed there is no proof other than stories.
I’ve made 96 posts on this (including this one) and if you check the quick link it will be post #99… 2 test posts I deleted before I even began this and one I deleted a few weeks ago when my emotional turmoil began… 99-3=96, simple maths.
I’ve only ever mentioned where I work once, and that was BEFORE I even started working there… And as for saying I hate work, well that is just flat out lies, as I’m sure any regular reader will testify, hell, I’ve mentioned on countless occasions how much I enjoyed working there.
Yes, enjoyed…
It just doesn’t have the same appeal for me anymore. I’ve got an offer of working for the Walker-Arnold’s again and I think I’ll take it… I’ve been backtracking on making a firm decision but recent events have pushed me too far.
I’m just more than a little sad it’s come to this. All I really wanted was an apology…
censorship
n 1: counterintelligence achieved by banning or deleting any information of value to the enemy [syn: censoring, security review] 2: deleting parts of publications or correspondence or theatrical performances [syn: censoring]
Apparently everyone that matters at work knows about my blog… So I’m having to phone this one in.
It’s a bit sad that I can’t even comment on a comment on my own site incase it upsets anyone in the company I work for.
England beat Australia 20-17 to win the Rugby World Cup.
Great… Another thing we’ll never hear the end of…
*post removed until I get a proper answer about yesterdays comment on Monday*
I’m arranging to meet up with Melody again, for some bit of face to face closure if nothing else… E-mails are so impersonal and telephone calls doesn’t quite bridge the divide.
So face to face, for the first time and she’s worried I’m gonna try and score and only be sad when she says no… But that doesn’t bother me, it was honestly the furthest thing from my mind.
But the lady doth protest too muchly?
I’m thinking that I’m not the problem, but I am… I’ve got great personal control and will power but her’s ain’t so strong, could her fears be that as soon as she see’s me again all the old feelings will come back and she’ll want to do NASTY things to me but only end up sad if I say no?
Something to ponder perhaps…
Maybe I protest too much too, maybe we both do… Maybe we both even mean what we say, it’s difficult to tell for the above reasons. Maybe we’re both in denial for whatever reason. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
— Original Message —
From: Gregor Smith (flc@scamcity.co.uk)
Sent: 19 November 2003 23:51
To: (recipients hidden)
Subject: RE: New Brand Name!
Dude! We’re gonna get sued… Change it back! CHANGE IT BACK!
I reckon Google narced me out, seeing as in the two days Scam City was Visualade, it reached 4th in the listings.
Anyways, a big hello to Jenny Dean, she rocks… I can’t believe she left a comment on my site… MY SITE!
So El Presidente George “Bumbling Idiot” Bush is arriving over here for a state visit that is reputedly costing the UK taxpayers £5m… And he has a security entourage that ranges in the tens of thousands, 14,000 to be exact. The centre of London is going to be shut down and American Secret Service agents are working on a shoot to kill basis.
Nice…
So a few people are arranging a little disruption, which I’m all for. The Chasing Bush campaign is asking people to “disrupt the PR” of the visit by spoiling stage-managed photos. They are being encouraged to send location reports and images by mobile phones to be posted on the Chasing Bush site.
“We want to give people a chance to be a visible voice of dissatisfaction” said campaign organiser Tim Ireland.
But the BBC report some newspapers and websites were reporting mobile phone signals could be blocked for fear they could remote-control a bomb.
But Scotland Yard has denied reports that police were considering shutting mobile phone masts during protests..
A spokesperson told BBC News Online they were “not prepared to discuss matters of security”.
I know certain members of my family read mine and that’s horrifying enough…
“Really, the blog is just a record of what I think about the world and how I spend my free time,” Widmar said. “In other words, exactly the sort of information that no 30-year-old wants his mom to have access to.”
“God, my links alone contain unlimited fodder for Mom’s neuroses,” Widmar said. “She’ll have access to not only my life, but the lives of all my friends who have web sites. She’ll have the names of all the places in Minneapolis where we hang out, which she can, and will, look up. With the raw materials in my blog, she could actually construct an accurate picture of who I am. This is fucking serious.”
“I know Mom will instantly become the site’s most avid reader and most vocal fan,” Widmar said. “As I write it, I’ll think, ‘How would Mom feel about this?’ Even worse, I’m sure she’ll give the address to all our relatives.”
It’s funny because it’s true…
— Original Message —
From: Gregor Smith (flc@scamcity.co.uk)
Sent: 17 November 2003 16:07
To: (recipients hidden)
Subject: New Brand Name!
From this day forth… Scam City version 6.0 (well, I’m really in 6.1 by now) shall be known as…….
VISUALADE
Your brand will be unique because this denotes:
drive through power
*funky new age logo will appear here soon*
Me thinks Jenny Dean of the REAL Visualade wont be too happy with my new brand name… But that’s for the courts to decide.
You know the old cliches… It’s not the winning, it’s the taking part… It’s a game of two halves etc. Well, it seems some nutty New Zealander has bet his citizenship on the Rugby World Cup…
Meaning if Australia win, he has to become an Aussie, which, apparently, is a big deal…
That’s hard-core! Imagine betting something like that on a game of rugby… How hammered must you be to have done that?
Seriously, there are other things in life.
I got a reply… She didn’t mean what she said yesterday.
I’m just sick of this whole runaround I’m experiencing… Is it always like this? It reminds me of a time years ago when me and a friend once spoke about “breaking up” and what happens thereafter. We’ve all done it. We’ve all been crushed in some way by a person whom we’ve given our hearts to. However, the breaking up, even the lovelorn feeling is not the hardest part of the break-up. The hardest part is having to see the person you broke up with (sometimes still love) moving on with life. You see him/her at the bar – you feel pathetic and cold. You see him/her while shopping – you feel pathetic and barren. You see him/her on the street – you feel pathetic and lonely. You see him/her in a porno you rented to make yourself “feel better” – You contemplate suicide. You are trying to self-satisfy yourself through manual stimulation, and you can’t help but think of that other person – you learn how to tie a noose.
I think my point is becoming clear. So, my friend and I devised a plan whereby a couple can break-up, and go on in life without having to suffer the continued trauma of breaking up. It’s a milder version of divorce court, but with much more drastic repercussions…
Basically, when you break up with someone, you are both taken to “break-up court”. At the court, it is decided who is a more important individual (i.e.. who will benefit society more in the long run; who is smarter; who is more artistically inclined; who is more interesting; who is a more whole person all around). Once the decision is made, then the person who doesn’t cut it is executed. And the winner gets to go on in life without ever having to see their ex again.
I wonder who wouldnt cut it between me and Melody, we’re both pretty good people in our own rights, just an explosive mix while together…
Remember Tuesday’s post about my Ex?
Well, it’s hitting home hard now and I can’t go on blogging about how she makes me feel… I was emailing my sister-in-law back and forth about it, and she asked for Melody’s email address… You know, for a girly chat and all that jazz.
Then all hell broke loose… “What the hell is this all about????????????????????? I thought we had resolved things?”
So resolving things means I can’t contact her or express the feelings I have about her to a member of my own (albeit dysfunctional) family?
Am I getting jipped here or what?
One argument lead to another and eventually she came out with how she never really loved me romantically in the first place, I’m just a really good friend.
OH! MY! GOD! You did not say that, tell me you did not say that?
“Of course I did… but as I told her [my sister-in-law] it wasn’t the kind of love that kept a marriage together. I loved you more as a good friend… and that’s a great love to have if you ask me”
If you look northwards, you might be able to see the flaming wreckage I was just shot down in…
Did she ever love me?
“I did but not the way you would want me to love you… but I don’t love you anymore romantically. i only care about you as a friend!”
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much… I sincerely hope she was just saying that out of some weird emotion of being blind sided by my family (who I rarely speak to about my feelings) otherwise she’s as messed up as me and I feel nothing but contempt for her.
I tried not to hate her, but it seems it’s all she’s left me with… But if she asked me to come over tomorrow, I’d be there in a flash… So what does that say about me?
… I think there’s no one else out there who’ll love me for who I am… But it passes.
Sometimes I get a feeling of impending doom… But it passes.
Sometimes I feel trapped… But it passes.
Sometimes I feel so useless… But it passes.
Sometimes I think about Melody… But it passes.
Sometimes I cry and I just need a hug…
I found out today that my brother lost his job, four weeks before Christmas…
How shitty is that?